I think I've finally burned my brain out. I woke up today, tired and wanting nothing else but sleep. I was a sleep zombie, "SSSSSLEEEEP!" I took a 4 hour nap on the couch and woke up feeling a lot better. I'm tired of thinking so much about running and my knee. It's been waiting to run, running, failing, waiting again for the pain to go away while spending endless hours researching... All while watching the kids, cooking and cleaning. Oh, and the occasional bath and blow dry.
I'm tired. I only foam rolled once today. My shoulders and torso are sore and I'm not seeing any results. That's a lie, the knee pain goes away immediately. It just reminds me that I'm ok to walk and live but not to run *MEGA SAD FACE*.
I feel like I'm done for and have to constantly tell myself that it is a bad attitude to have. "Fuck that," I tell myself. "Be positive," I reply. It goes on and on. Yes, I'm crazy.
I'm not sure when I'll get back to running. I'm not sure how long to tell myself to wait til my next try. I'm thinking of sneaking out with the credit card and finding a doctor. I don't want to go there.